I think it would help you tremendously to physically, verbally, and honestly tell Jason how you feel.
Then I’d love to go with you to your dad’s graveside. I get that he hurt you. I understand hurtful parents more than your mind might choose to realize. If you would allow yourself to realize that, it might be good to have someone -someone who really knows YOU- to empathize with what you feel.
I get that it might be easier to simply be mad & project anger. But….
I’d love to go with you & stand by your side as you confront the pastor you had as a youth. I know it won’t be easy. I know it might not even happen. I don’t expect any pastor to willingly let themself get ridiculed.
Faith, you need to choose courage.