It’s easy to take a blanket “hero complex” mentality and simply say that everyone should universally “believe” all claims of domestic violence.

But in the real world, that simply isn’t the case. One should never let their guard down when it comes to screening and listening intently to the claims and accusations that come from some people.

If you’ve ever done a ride-along with your city’s law enforcement, or pulled a public record log of police dispatch call outs, you’ll find a significant number of “domestic calls” (or whatever your town calls it) that are simply false reports.

Perhaps someone is trying to manipulate and deceive the public trust from law enforcement officers in an attempt to get back at another spouse.

Quite often, if one spouse has told the other that they have been going to counseling and has invited the other spouse to join in the counselling, what happens when the other person in the relationship is HIGHLY RESISTANT to talking about things inside their home?!?!

Is it easier to call the police, make a claim against the spouse going to counseling? Of course it is!

Especially when the spouse finds out that there are several mutual acquaintances that are going to the same counseling support group, it’s easy and simple for the offender to have a fierce and unquenchable desire to discredit the person going to counseling and getting support.

It’s important to not let your guard down when listening to the claim.

Always lean into the claim and ask solidifying questions.

Sadly, even if it’s one law enforcement officer trying to cover for a certain few select individuals, it’s absolutely critical that you listen and lean into the claim so that you are not enabling a lie.

Letting your guard down in a “blanket / universal” acceptance of any and all claims means that you are taking away from someone else.

Never forget this:


Remember that you are in charge of you. It is your job, duty, role and responsibility to guard your heart and make sure that you don’t let your guard down to enable a false report of domestic violence.

Do not ever think something like, “Oh, that would never happen to me” or “Oh, don’t worry. I can’t be lied to”. You can.

And in today’s culture, it’s very important to remember that law enforcement officers are not unlimited magical unicorns. Any false claim is an abuse of the 911 system and should not be taken lightly.

Any GoFundMe campaign can be thwarted to be used maliciously.

There is no church in the world, no matter how big or small, that has unlimited funds to be handed out to false claims of domestic violence.

Realize that letting your guard down, believing the most insanely insidious claims, not checking any facts, and not asking validating questions is taking away from legitimate claims.

There is no food pantry that has unlimited food, no church that has unlimited funds, no law enforcement agency which has unlimited personnel, and no community that has unlimited resources.

Letting your guard down takes away from legitimate victims of family violence. Never forget that lies hurt real victims.

Getting caught up in the emotion of wanting to be the hero or wanting to help the damsel trapped in the castle, all the while completely abandoning all logic and rational thinking is entirely irresponsible.

When you let your guard down, real victims get hurt.

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